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Free Printable: Horse Humor Advisory

Horses Are Not Funny

If you’re like me, you’ve probably referenced horses in a jovial tone or even outright used one in a joke. And I KNOW you’ve shared at least one horse meme—we all have. Unfortunately this behavior has to stop because according to some random lady, we are exploiting these beautiful creatures. It also seems we are negatively impacting her popsicle stick horse art business.

If you want to support this woman’s message and champion the majesty and nobility of the Horse, you can download one of her flyers below and print it out.

Download PDF

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Free Printable: Weird Little Valentine’s Day Cards

Weird Little Valentines - Robert

Display of small weird Valentine's Day cardsLast year I made a display of little Valentine’s Day cards and left it in Walgreens. I also set up a display of free cards in the library of my local community college. (I escaped just as the librarian was talking in hushed tones to campus police about some guy who was loitering…)

This year I am giving away the print file for free! Download the PDF at the link below, and print some weird little Valentines for your friends. I used a heavy cardstock paper, and printed on both sides (flipped along the long edge). Then simply cut and fold.

Download Printable PDF

If you don’t want to do all that tiresome printing, cutting, and folding, you can buy a pack of these cards here and make me do it for you.

Or send a weird Valentine eCard!

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PokeyMa’am Art Files

Our t-shirt printing provider has declined to print our PokeyMa’am designs, which is understandable given how lawsuit-happy The Pokemon Company can be. Even fair use parody works present a risk when a huge company loves to sue and has mountains of cash they can easily afford to throw away on the case.

So, here are the PokeyMa’am art files for free download. You are welcome to upload them anywhere and create a shirt for yourself.

Pokeymaam Pink Achoo T-Shirt

PokeyMa'am Charming Her T-Shirt

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Donation Transparency Report (Please Do Not The Cat)

please do not the cat

Earlier this year we pledged to donate 100% of profits from the sale of Please Do Not The Cat shirts to no-kill cat shelters, and since that time we’ve raised about $1700!

We took suggestions from the “please do not the cat” group on Facebook about which organizations to benefit with our donations, and compiled those suggestions into a list of 14 shelters. Over the last few weeks, we’ve reached out to these organizations via email and Facebook message to arrange donations and confirm participation. One group declined to participate, and 5 others did not respond to any of our messages. This brings the final donation list down to 8 shelters, among which the funds have been divided equally.



OrganizationDonationConfirmation / Info
Best Friends Animal Society$212.50Receipt from website donation
Fox Foster Kittens$212.50Receipt from PayPal donation
The Cat House On The Kings$212.50Mailed check
The Catcade$212.50Receipt from website donation
Whisker Stop$212.50Receipt from PayPal donation
Blind Cat Rescue and Sanctuary, Inc.$212.50Receipt from PayPal donation
ECAH Animals$212.50Mailed check
SCAT Street Cat Rescue$212.50Mailed check


Thank you to everyone who purchased Please Do Not The Cat shirts, and for the suggestions for beneficiaries! Being able to donate $1700 to help cats in need feels pretty good, and the shelters who care for them are very grateful for your support.

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How to Make a Vinyl Record

The Complete Sounds of Windows 95 Vinyl Record

This guide walks you through the process of creating a vinyl record on and ordering one for yourself.

Disclaimer: I am not compensated in any way for records you make; I am not a party to any production contract you engage in with Kunaki by using their services.

  1. Download record assests and unzip the archive into a folder.
    Note: I do not own these files or offer any license for their use (if any is required). Only download if you are permitted to use these files.
  2. Go to Kunaki and create an account using your email and a new password.
  3. Login with your new account.
  4. After logging in, go to the new product page scroll down to the vinyl section and use the yellow-green [upload audio files and artwork] button to begin adding a new record.
    1. Step 1a
      Select “sleeve_front.jpg” from the Artwork folder and click the [>> Upload] button.
    2. Step 1b
      Select “sleeve_back.jpg” from the Artwork folder and click the [>> Upload] button.
    3. Step 1c
      Select “label_side_a.jpg” from the Artwork folder and click the [>> Upload] button.
    4. Step 1d
      Select “label_side_b.jpg” from the Artwork folder and click the [>> Upload] button.
    5. Step 2a
      Select tracks 01-08 from the Side A folder and click the [>> Upload] button for each track.
    6. Step 2b
      Select tracks 01-07 from the Side B folder and click the [>> Upload] button for each track.
    7. Step 3
      Enter whatever you like for title and label.
  5. Submit the product using the green [Submit product] button.
  6. Wait for Kunaki to finish processing the files. You will get an email from Kunaki when it is done.
  7. Go to your product list page.
  8. In the “Order and ship your products” section, use the [Order and ship your products to a single address] button to open the wholesale order form.
  9. Enter an order quantity for your product, then select shipping parameters at the top of the page and click the [Calculate Shipping] button.
  10. Complete the checkout form and submit.
  11. You’re done! Wait for the record to be produced and shipped, usually within a few days.
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Mask Applied Poster

Mask your wallet

Some local businesses still being overly zealous with their mask rules, without any good reason (beyond fear and virtue-signaling). If they still require masks and are being assholes about it, you can put up this sign nearby. If masks are required, I’ll mask my wallet. Thanks for the money-saving tip, guys!

Download link:

✅ Mask Applied (PDF)

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Since posting my How to Wear a Mask sign, I have received multiple requests from fans for the printable file so that they can hang up their own copies. The files below are PDFs. (Note: the file was designed with 0.17″ page margins, so you may need to adjust your printer settings to get a full print. Alternatively you could scale down the print slightly.)

Please share photos of your signs when your put them up by tagging me @LegbootLegit on social media!